Crappy Drivel

Bah. I'm so incredibly tired it's not even funny. I have a good excuse though! Today... (drum roll please...!) I tried out for the track team at HHS!!! I was sooo nervous, which I know is really strange considering what I've been doing for the past month. I mean you would think that running laps would be a lot less scary then standing up on a stage and singing/kissing in front of 2oo people. Of course, I do like the kissing part... ;) Anyways, what I'm saying is I was truly terrified and almost chickened out, but then decided to be the new me and go for it. It went fine, of course, and I'll find out if I got in next week I guess... I don't really care either way - there's always next year!
I'm a little sad and lonely right now... it's just weird because now that mom and dad are back together (which of course is like the greatest thing on earth!!) I don't get to see Jer so much anymore. Well, I guess I see him plenty what with shows every day, but we don't really get to hang out. I suppose I know now how it feels to be dating a guy who I'm not actually living with. Heehee. I do miss wandering into his room randomly, eating apples in the kitchen, all the costumes hanging around... ahme. And things are a little awkward here at home, I mean everything between mom and dad isn't magically fixed, and I don't think I've forgiven either of them yet...
Gah.
It's stupid.
BUT that's why I like playing Bella! I get to stress about her problems and forget my own!
...Sometimes I think that actors are just cowards, running away from their problems to be someone else...

Sorry, my minds going in a million directions at once tonight. I'm so obsessed with theater right now, it's incredible. I mean... I can't even explain it! The people and all the work; Standing in front of the audience after a show and seeing their faces; it's like a drug really! I'm thinking about it constantly, looking at sites, listening to music. It's gotten to be that I don't even feel like reading books unless they have something to do with theater!!
This is bad! I don't like it! Someone help me!

That said, I HAVE to go to bed now. Night night.

Love you all,
J.